Reviewed by Chris Wright, MoreHorror.com
Directed By: Masssimiliano Cerchi
Written By: Simonetta Mostarda
Starring: Robert Cummins (Satan Claus), Jodie Rafty (Sandra Logan), Robert Hector (Steve Sanders), Barie Snider, Lauretta Ali (Maman), Daisy Vel (Lt. Lisa Red), John Romanelli (Sergeant Todd Miller), Roy Ashton (Ken), Cyrstal Herold (Sharon), Taylor Kristiansen (TV Reporter), Mark Courtein (Hooligan), Mark Greenfield (Homeless Man), Nick Van Eeden (Jeff Molansky), Christine Taylor (Victim #1), Jimmy Stanford Hoffman (Victim #2)
I went in to “Satan Claus” with rather low expectations. It turns out my low expectations were higher than they should have been! This is by far one of the worst Christmas themed horror movies I have ever feasted my eyes on. I wanted to jab a red hot poker through my eyes watching this travesty of a horror movie. The person who wrote it doesn’t have any other credits to the persons name other than this movie. I see why he never wrote anything after this because this was pretty bad.
The plot is a killer dressed up as Santa is murdering random people in New York City and taking parts off of his victims to make a Christmas tree. The police are vying to take him down after he murders a police officer’s wife first, but is there another motive behind these kills? The plot is a routine rip off of “Silent Night Deadly Night” in terms of a killer Santa but this movie doesn’t even try to entertain in the least. Satan Claus (Robert Cummins) does not act very well in this and if the main villain can’t even sell a scene, I know I am already getting a lump of coal in my stocking watching this movie.
I am a huge fan of low budget movies and I tend to try to give a movie with a limited budget its just dues if it tries to make a good movie. What I find hard to believe is the people who put this movie together actually thought this movie was watchable. When I say watchable, I mean actually being able to see what I am watching! From start to near finish, I can barely see anything as most scenes are in the dark and even the scenes with lights are in a dim light. I would hope a movie with dim lights could add atmosphere but it actually was a deterrent of watching it because I can’t see what is going on! I can’t forgive a movie if they think somebody who is interested in watching their film would actually want to watch a film with poor lighting.
Along with the inability to see anything, “Satan Claus” doesn’t make much sense with flashes to a person performing voodoo rituals, which didn’t seem to jive with the movie at all. What was the point? Apparently the point was the ending, which was about the only thing decent about this film despite the stupor and confusion. The main reason isn’t because of the revelation of what is going on, it is because I could actually see what was going on!
If a person wants to watch this movie for the onslaught of gore at Christmas, this is not the film to venture in to. The gore is near non existent due to costs. What little blood I did see was marred with my original complaint of lack of lighting.
If you enjoy a Christmas slasher with little plot, no lights, bad acting, inaudible verbal exchanges at times, this is the movie for you! I can’t even find anything good to say about it. I take that back; this movie made me thankful for electricity. I give it 1 out of 5 stars. It somehow mustered up a 3.7/10 on IMDB.