Written by Kevin Scott, MoreHorror.com
Every now and then, something comes along that is such an anomaly of pop culture that, good or bad, it deserves a certain measure of any film fan's respect. That's what makes horror such a great genre. All of the sub genres from intelligent indie horror, polished studio horror for the masses, and fun little gems like this one where you can check your sensibilities and higher standards at the door.
What if I were to say someone made a slasher flick with all the stereotypes amped way up, a score by hair metal man candy Kip Winger, and the title character played by controversial baseball star, John Rocker. Not on anyone's wish list perhaps, but then again, it's not for the pop culture gods to give you what you want, but what you need. Whether we knew it or not, we all needed The Greenskeeper on some baser level.
Everything seems to be on par at Summer Isle Country Club. The greens are manicured to absolute perfection, and that's largely due to our protagonist, Allen (Allelon Ruggiero) His mother and stepfather own the club, but he's reduced to assistant greenskeeper, mainly due to his screenwriting aspirations, and a slight weed habit. He's a good dude, that's surrounded by the usual gaggle of rich and wanna be rich douchery. He has a high maintenance girlfriend, who constantly belittles him, who in turn has high maintenance superficial girlfriends.
The clientele at the club include a trio of preppy scum named Chet, Champ, and Chas, who are flanked by the lothario tennis pro. Couldn't make this stuff up if I tried. They taunt him with great lines like "Hey Greenskeeper, what's the matter? Wake up on the wrong side of the futon this morning?" If I haven't sold you on this film yet, I'm doing something really wrong. Allen does have a couple of bright spots at the club like Otis (Thomas Merdis) the primary Greenskeeper, a kindly old Yoda who was a good friend to Allen's late father, the former owner of the club who died under mysterious circumstances many years ago. He also has the hots for one of the club waitresses, Elena (Melissa Ponzio), who immigrated there with her sisters. She has a good work ethic, and a strong sense of morality. This may be why she gets the Ginny treatment from "Friday the 13th part 2" later.
Things get really nasty when Allen's girlfriend talks him into using his keys to the club to open it up to an after hours party. The body count starts to rise and it could only be the legend of the old Greenskeeper that hails from the creepy shack out in the woods. Surprisingly, it's a slow burn until some real slasher carnage, but worth the wait with some outlandish kills with the thingee that makes the holes for the golf balls to go into (I'm not a golfer), a sprinkler head, and the best of all, the ball washer. All of this occurs due to the negligence of the flamboyantly gay local police force, and against the backdrop of another horror film everyone is watching, called "The Milkman". The killer is dressed in an old school milk man uniform, has a milk mustache, and yells catchphrases like "Want some of my cream?" Good times!
Check out "The Greenskeeper", and have fun with it for what it is. Someone with a good sense of humor and a marginal amount of funding made a fun little film, and an interesting conversation piece in the archives of slasher history.