Written by Kevin Scott, MoreHorror.com
Being a property owner can be difficult. Bad tenants, old buildings that require constant maintenance and significant expense, and carnivorous molemen that come up through old Chicago Prohibition tunnels. Wait, what? Yep, subterranean humanoid underground dwellers. SHUDs maybe? Nah, let’s just stick with The Moleman of Belmont Avenue. It sounds more B movie anyway, and what would any B movie worth its salt be without the anti –hero, or even better, a duo of anti-heroes.
Enter Marion and Jarmon Mugg, two brothers that inherited a brownstone from their mother, and seemed to be trapped in a situation that they neither want, or are any good at. Their longtime tenants are leaving them, the building is falling into disrepair, and the boys just can’t seem to catch a break. When tenant’s pets start disappearing, something sinister seems to be afoot.
When they actually see something trying fit a Yorkie through a mail slot, they know they’ve got bigger problems. They call the police, but can’t tell them what really is going on because drawing too much attention to the building could get it condemned. It wouldn’t do any good anyway, because the cops are hilariously rude to them, and fault them for having weird names and deviated septums. Never trust a mouth breather.
Heroes are forged in the fires of adversity, so the boys go to work. After a trip to the home improvement store to get some supplies for moleman warning apparatuses, and some body armor that Chet and Roman would be proud of, they take a detour that leads to a bad trip. Did I mention that they smoke a little weed too? It’s all starting to make sense now. When the moleman moves from pets to senior citizens, something has to give. The rest of the film is an eclectic mix of crazy dialogue, crazier tenants, and the boys getting that all important exposition before the climax of the film from a man who not only knows about the molemen, but also their mother in the biblical sense. Bad news all the way around.
This film is a straight up horror comedy with an emphasis on the comedy. Mike Bradecich (Marion Mugg) and John LaFlamboy (Jarmon Mugg) are excellent at turning a clever phrase in one breath, and and playing the hipster counterparts of the “Dude, Where’s My Car Guys” in the next. We also get some cameos from the great Robert Englund, and my personal favorite, Mr. Tim Kazurinsky, whom I haven’t seen in way too long. This would be the perfect film to show with a mix of horror fans and anyone who appreciates scenes about nothing done very well. Like maybe a jam session on the bongos with Sweetchuck from Police Academy. Where else would you see that, other than in a Police Academy movie? What will you learn from this film? Maybe the healing power of the Atari 2600, and that the moleman, well he ain’t got no soul man.